IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.
#proportion #income #items #uk
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The given table illustrates the comparison of different age groups used up their income for 4 common items in the UK in 1998.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that the most expenditures of adults, men, and women are on
food
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 children, boys, and girls are on music. Meanwhile, the other facts that are given from the table are adults, men, and women
also
Linking Words
 spend the least figure on the same items which are on
food
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 women and children on
food
Use synonyms
, apart from girls who spent on electric equipment. Looking at the table in more detail, adults spent the maximum on
food
Use synonyms
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for a quarter
while
Linking Words
on the contrary
Linking Words
, they spent a minimum on videos for 1%. The allocations on electric equipment and music
Submitted by Deddymus on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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