IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In most parts of the world, the volume of traffic is growing at an alarming rate. In the form of an assignment, discuss about the main traffic problems in your country, their causes and possible solutions.

In
this
Linking Words
 cutting-edge era,
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
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 is increasing at an alarming rate as there are a plethora of individuals who prefer to use only private
transportation
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 rather than public
transportation
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. Numerous
problems
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are occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
show examples
 with
traffic
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congestion
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, by taking several incentives
this
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 issue can be tackled. Which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. To
embark
Verb problem
begin
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 with, there are ample
problems
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 happening with
this
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. The predominant one is that increasing pollution is day-by-day
due to
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 the increase in
traffic
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 jams on roads. It is not worthwhile for individuals' health as they could suffer from various diseases
such
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 as lung
problems
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,stroke, ischaemic heart disease and many more. A survey conducted by
World
Correct article usage
the World
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 Health Organisation demonstrated that 30% of the masses in India suffered from lung cancer,
whereas
Linking Words
 5% of
people
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 died
due to
Linking Words
 ischaemic heart disease.
Moreover
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, mostly in urban countries ,
people
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 face
traffic
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congestion
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problems
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 and many times they get delayed at reaching their work destination.
This
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 is not good for their career as they are not able to work in an effective way.
However
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, a number of effective measures can be taken to curb
this
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 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the government ought to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 the price of petrol
as well as
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 diesel,so
people
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 will use less private
transportation
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. It would be helpful in order to reduce
traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 as everyone wants to spend money on those things which are cheap in price. They would use more public
transportation
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 as compared to their own vehicles.
Secondly
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, in order to reduce
traffic
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congestion
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,
people
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 should do carpooling. Not only it would be helpful in decreasing
traffic
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 jams but
also
Linking Words
 pollution could be diminished. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there is a myriad of
problems
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 that are occurring
due to
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 the increment in
traffic
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congestion
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, by taking several effective steps
this
Linking Words
 problem can be mitigated.

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task achievement
Make sure to include a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help the reader know what to expect.
coherence and cohesion
Use more connecting words (like 'firstly', 'next', 'finally') to better link your ideas and transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to include more detailed examples to back up your points. For example, mention specific public transportation systems in your country that could help.
content
You have identified important problems related to traffic congestion, such as pollution and delays for workers.
content
Your suggestions for solutions, like raising petrol prices and promoting carpooling, show good thinking about how to tackle the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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