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Band 5

Nowadays, some workplaces tend to employ equal numbers of men and women workers. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#workplaces #numbers #men #women #workers #development
Today, majority of the male and female workers are working together in the same places around the world. In my mind, it is
beneficial
Add an article
a beneficial
show examples
 way to
work
 in the same place for
men
 and
women
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why it is more effective to tend to employ
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
men
 and
women
 than negative ones. Presently, numerous people apply for jobs in order to
work
.
Therefore
 employers want to employ
men
 or
women
 employees so as to be suitable for a job. They
work
 together in order to improve
work
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
For example
, we meet male and female teachers at
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
, companies, Universities and other organizations. Every employee does his or her own task to do the best in their field.
As a result
, it is useful for all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people. Another reason is that if only
women
work
 at school it is not effective for pupils because of being places for
men
 teachers.
However
 other employers want to give jobs
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only
males
Change preposition
to males
show examples
 because they think that it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 correct choice for them.
In addition
, males always come to
work
 on time.
Furthermore
, they never make up for being late because of having their own decisions.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 females
also
work
 better than males
although
 they have young children.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 they do the best for their jobs and families. In conclusion, it is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 positive way for
women
 and
men
 to
work
 together. In my opinion, every person has his own task. I have tried to relevant answers to the question from my experience.
Submitted by dilshod333d on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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