Employers should give their staff at least 4 weeks' holiday every year to make them perform better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#employers #staff #weeks #holiday #year #jobs

In the current fast-paced world, many people are working relentlessly.

However

this

may lead to stress and other mental health issues. So, every employee should spend a minimum of time with family members inside the country or outside of the country.

Hence

, if they have at least 4 weeks of holidays every year provided by their employer. I totally agree with

this

act to get better results.

Firstly

, nowadays, the job market is globalized

now

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. There are no boundaries to work and

settled

Wrong verb form

settle

show examples

in one destination. Most youngsters are finishing their graduation from top universities around the world. After their graduation, they start work in that particular area. In spite of a job, they want to travel to their country and spend with family members and friends. So, if their company

provided

Wrong verb form

provides

show examples

1 month's leave they can

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

relax and refresh.

For example

, many Indians work in other countries for better salaries, and they will travel yearly once to their home to celebrate festivals with blood relatives.

Although

, they are getting one month of paid vacation with air tickets.

Secondly

, as noticed globetrotting is famous now. Many individuals

are opened

Wrong verb form

open

show examples

social media accounts and post travel vlogs about how they feel about that location and how to reach there.

For instance

, the "Naa Anveshna"

youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

vlogger explored more than 100 countries and posted on the internet and it

got

Verb problem

went

show examples

viral. By the way, he got money and was famous for travelling. Fortunately, he had one month of vacation every year. So, he spent his time in

this

way.

To sum up

, some quality time is required to refresh from duty stress and it's

also

recommended by educationalists. If entities are caring for their workers, they have to provide some holidays with the pay.

Submitted by anand.gnt92 on Tue May 30 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay directly addresses the question prompt and provides a clear position on the issue of paid leave. Also, develop the essay with more depth and provide a balanced argumentation.

coherence cohesion

The essay exhibits a fairly clear structure with an evident introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, pay attention to the organization within paragraphs to enhance coherence.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays,The way many people interact with each other has it changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relation that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development.

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Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A lot of money is spent on renovating old buildings. We should knock them down and build modern ones instead. To what extent to you agree or disagree with these statements