IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.
#show #uk #graduate #students #time #work #college
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The two graphics present
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about graduate and postgraduate students of different types of future
plane
Correct your spelling
plans
show examples
 without full-time
work
Use synonyms
 in the UK in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, an obvious feature is that all types of destination
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
show examples
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 same rank for both of the two bar charts. Students who opted
Linking Words
further
Change preposition
for further
show examples
 study where occupy the majority and the voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 were
fewest
Correct article usage
the fewest
show examples
 people to choose
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 both. Most graduates went to do
further
Linking Words
 study, the number
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 almost to reach 30,000.
Conversely
Linking Words
, Voluntary
work
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 unpopular, at 3,500. Part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and Unemployment where shared
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar number for graduates,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at 17,735 and 16,235 respectively. Notably, the number of postgraduates who did the
further
Linking Words
 study was similar to part-time
work
Use synonyms
 people, they only got a gap of 190 people.
Postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
Postgraduates
show examples
 who
unemployed
Add a missing verb
were unemployed
show examples
 were at 1,625 and
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 did voluntary were the fewest
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
only at 345.
Submitted by evilfishcoco on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work with synonyms.
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What to do next:
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