The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#retirement #age #males #females #six #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The given table illustrates the average

age

Use synonyms

of men and women when they retired in 6 countries namely: Australia, the USA, Japan, Italy, France and Korea in 2003.

Overall

Linking Words

, Korea had the highest retirement

age

Use synonyms

, as compared to others

while

Linking Words

the opposite was true for France. Looking at the table for more detail, Australian and American males retired at

the

Correct article usage

show examples

average

age

Use synonyms

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

years

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

figure for females was approximately 64

years

Use synonyms

. The average retirement

age

Use synonyms

of men in Japan was 67

years

Use synonyms

and a

third,

Linking Words

which was more than 7

months

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

figure for women in

this

Linking Words

nation.

Besides

Linking Words

, males and females in Korea retired at the average

age

Use synonyms

Change preposition

of 68

show examples

years

Use synonyms

and 8

months

Use synonyms

, and 67

years

Use synonyms

and 2

months

Use synonyms

, respectively. Moving to Italy,

while

Linking Words

the average retirement

age

Use synonyms

of men in Italy was 58

years

Use synonyms

and 2

months

Use synonyms

, these statistics for women

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

less by 11

months

Use synonyms

. These figures for French males and females were the lowest at around 57

years

Use synonyms

Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on Sun Jun 04 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, months with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

166 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
gender disparity
average
countries
comparisons
illustrates
features
trends
outliers
noteworthy
notable differences
economic factors
social factors
legal factors

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The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be resolved

Some people believe that modern technology encourages more social behavior. Others say that this leads to lesser sociable behavior.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that social media platforms are exerting considerable adverse effects on their users in both individual and social aspects. Due to many reasons, I completely agree with this statement.

Some people believe that scientists have the greatest influence on the world. Other people think that the influence of politicians is greater. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.