The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.
The given table illustrates the average
age
of men and women when they retired in 6 countries namely: Australia, the USA, Japan, Italy, France and Korea in 2003.
Overall
, Korea had the highest retirement
age
, as compared to others
while
the opposite was true for France. Looking at the table for more detail, Australian and American males retired at
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
average
age
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
65
years
while
this
figure for females was approximately 64
years
. The average retirement
age
of men in Japan was 67
years
and a
third,
which was more than 7
months
of
this
figure for women in
this
nation.
Besides
, males and females in Korea retired at the average
age
68
Change preposition
of 68
show examples
years
and 8
months
, and 67
years
and 2
months
, respectively. Moving to Italy,
while
the average retirement
age
of men in Italy was 58
years
and 2
months
, these statistics for women
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
less by 11
months
. These figures for French males and females were the lowest at around 57
years
.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, months with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • gender disparity
  • average
  • countries
  • comparisons
  • illustrates
  • features
  • trends
  • outliers
  • noteworthy
  • notable differences
  • economic factors
  • social factors
  • legal factors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: