IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

While travelling by metro train, your credit card slipped out of your pocket. You realized this only after reaching home. Write a letter to the concerned authorities and explain what happened.

My name is Madhur Bathla. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter with reference to a credit card that slipped out of my pocket
while
Linking Words
 I was travelling in the metro, yesterday.
However
Linking Words
, when I reached my home
then
Linking Words
 I
got to realise
Verb problem
realised
show examples
 that I
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 left my
belonging
Fix the agreement mistake
belongings
show examples
 on the train. I would like to tell the concerned authorities about the incident. To elaborate, I boarded the crowded metro that runs between Huda city centre and
Central
Correct article usage
the Central
show examples
 Secretariat. I boarded the train at Connaught Place and when I entered the metro, I took the wallet out of the left pocket of my jeans where my card
also
Linking Words
 came out with it and fell on the floor. I would like to raise a request to the station authorities to get the second
last
Linking Words
 compartment of the train checked, and if they find any credit ticket
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 American Express company
then
Linking Words
 they must keep it safe and secure
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. I apologize for the inconvenience caused, and I am looking forward to hearing any update from the station staff regarding my lost item. Yours Sincerely, Madhur Bathla

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly mention the date of the incident in the first paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use smoother transitions between the sentences for better flow.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has one main idea to improve clarity.
positive
The letter has a polite tone throughout, which is appropriate for this type of communication.
positive
You have clearly stated what happened and what you want from the authorities.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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