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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Considering that adults spend much of their lives at work, having job satisfaction is extremely important. What factors contributes to job satisfaction ? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all employees ?

#adults #lives #work #job #satisfaction #factors #expectation #employees
There is no doubt that elder
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 spend more time at
work
,
due to
 some responsibilities and other
factors
, as well
job
satisfactions
Fix the agreement mistake
satisfaction
show examples
 is played
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 role at
work
.
This
 essay will explain regarding
factors
contributes
Correct pronoun usage
that contributes
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
job
 pleasure, and
practically
Change the word
practical
show examples
expections
Correct your spelling
expectations
 of
work
 gratifications for all workers.
To begin
 with, Money is required in
this
contemprory
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 era, so individuals have
Add an article
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 daily routine lives. There are various
factors
contributes
Correct pronoun usage
that contributes
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
peace
 of
mind
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
such
 as
decent
Add an article
a decent
show examples
 boss, Good colleague,
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
job
 environment,
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 management system,
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
, holidays, Event/Activities, and so on. First of all, Companies need to
maintance
Correct your spelling
maintain
 their policy, In policy not mentioned
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
much restriction
Change the quantifier
many restrictions
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 it would be
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 impact on employment. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, One was
Correct article usage
a compnay
show examples
compnay
Correct your spelling
company
 having
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 restrictions,
such
 as Late coming marks will cut half
salaries
,
taken
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 leave without informed to the management system would be cut double
salaries
, and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 rules, and
due to
 those
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 all
employed
Replace the word
employees
show examples
 has been
striked
Correct your spelling
struck
show examples
 and left
job
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
, so It would be
most
Add an article
the most
a most
show examples
 impact on
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
Boss
Fix the agreement mistake
Bosses
show examples
 should
good
Add a missing verb
be good
show examples
 at their behaviour, he/she can not raise their voice
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
emplyees
Correct your spelling
employee
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
, but they should explain them
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 polite way.
Additional
Change the word
Additionally
show examples
,
Environment
Correct article usage
the Environment
show examples
also
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
 played role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
peace
 of
mind
 or
satisfactions
Fix the agreement mistake
satisfaction
show examples
, Negative
colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
show examples
 will
destroyed
Change the verb form
destroy
show examples
 our
peace
 of
mind
, and some individuals played the game of
pollitic
Correct your spelling
politics
politic
 at
office
Add an article
the office
show examples
.
Moreover
,
Salaries
also
 played
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 role in gratification, Harder
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 deserved good
salaries
 compared to lazy employees, when they discussed with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
, it would most negative impact on workers lives. It
is practically think
Change the verb form
is practically thought
show examples
 that
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 required satisfaction
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
job
. If companies organised any event or
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
,
such
 as any sports,
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
,
dramma
Correct your spelling
drama
, and
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
show examples
 of activities, individuals should
participated
Change the verb form
participate
show examples
, so they will get enjoyed during
work
 and as well
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 will fresh. Organised should give weekends for two days,
hence
 workers get a chance to take a rest and take
another duties
Replace the adjective
another duty
other duties
show examples
. To be concluded,
Adult
Fix the agreement mistake
Adults
show examples
 spend too much time on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
, and
Correct pronoun usage
their mind
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 would be
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace
, and most major
factors
goese
Correct your spelling
go
 on
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
 firm's policy and
another
Replace the adjective
another factor
other factors
show examples
factors
. I would like to suggest that
firm
Correct article usage
the firm
show examples
 should provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 to the employees, as well they need to represented sessions for behaviour with all employees and how to make friendly
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
.
Submitted by panetariyaragini78 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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