IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

A bar chart shows the percentage of men and women in Great Britain who had driving licenses and another bar chart shows the percentage of men and women who applied for driving licenses at the age of 17-20. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

A bar chart shows the percentage of men and women in Great Britain who had driving licenses and another bar chart shows the percentage of men and women who applied for driving licenses at the age of 17-20. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #percentage #men #women #britain #licenses #age #information #features #comparisons
The chart below displays the percentage between two
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
 who had driving licenses and the
number
 of boys and girls who already applied for driving licenses when they at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
 age between 17 and 20 years old in Great Britain.
Overall
, it is obvious that two fingers
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 steadily over
this
 period in the first bar chart, the
number
 of men who had license more than
women
 in the first year in the survey.
However
, the percentage of
women
 increased dramatically, reaching 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the
last
 year. In the second chart, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
sexual
Replace the word
sexes
show examples
 rose slightly between 1996 and 2006. In 1976, 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of males had passed the driving exam and got licenses, after that five years the
number
 still remained.
However
, the
number
 rises gently and
finally
 peaked
80
Change preposition
at 80
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2006. In comparison, the finger of females stranded
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1976 and began growth suddenly over the period, reaching 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2006.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of young men drivers compared with 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
women
 drivers in 1996. Ten years ago, in 2006 the percentage of males decreased slightly to 45
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
while
 the
number
 of
women
 declined to 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by caelumz1121 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, women, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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