Many universities graduates cannot find a job in their choosen profession. What factors may have caused this situation and what is your opinion, should be done about it?

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Nowadays,more and more
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

trying new , enjoyable and dangerous
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

activites
Correct your spelling
activities

If you don’t want activites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of old and common hobbies
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as playing football . These
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have more
stugle
Correct your spelling
struggle

If you don’t want stugle to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

what peoples want it .
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, is the development positive , or are there more drawbacks than advantages
.
Change the punctuation
?

The punctuation mark may be incorrect here. Consider changing it.

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In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay , I will look at the reasons
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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triying challing
Correct your spelling
trying challenging

The words triying challing seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and I will give my own opinion about development . Let's begin
with
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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looking at the reason that
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

why
chousing
Correct your spelling
choosing

The word chousing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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extreme
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as climbing
mountain
Fix the agreement mistake
mountains

It seems that mountain may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
bunge
Correct your spelling
bungee

If you don’t want bunge to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

jumping . The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have bored
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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doing
same
Correct article usage
the same

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which do
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
regularly. Take some male employees ,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when they take a break for 2
days
Change noun form
days'

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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holiday , some of them have done same
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as football match . As a
consuquance
Correct your spelling
consequence

If you don’t want consuquance to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are trying new and
excited
Replace the word
exciting

It seems that the form of the participle excited is not correct in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they
tired
Add a missing verb
are tired

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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of doing the same things and
hungry
Add a missing verb
are hungry

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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for new exciting ones . Turning to the other side of the argument , public concern has
arised
Correct your spelling
arisen
raised

If you don’t want arised to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

about whether the dangerous
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

activites'
Correct your spelling
activities
activity

If you don’t want activites' to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

development is positive or not . It
is widely acknowledge
Change the verb form
is widely acknowledged

It appears that the form of the verb acknowledge does not work with is in this sentence.

show examples
that the extreme
activites
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

' popularity increasing rapidly .
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to say ,
every
Change preposition
in every

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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part of the world , tourism
slided
Correct your spelling
slid

It appears that the verb slided is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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to the organising of
challing
Correct your spelling
challenging activities

The words challing activites seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

activites
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
reach
Change the verb form
reaching

The verb reach may be in the wrong form after the preposition for. Consider changing it to the gerund form.

show examples
easy money . I
stongly
Correct your spelling
strongly

If you don’t want stongly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

belive
Correct your spelling
believe

The word belive doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that , there were a negative but the benefits of these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types

It seems that type may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of
activities
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

outweigh
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the cons .
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
althuogh
Correct your spelling
although

If you don’t want althuogh to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

it is clear that
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some
argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments

It seems that argument may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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still going on , my belief it is better for
peoples
Change noun form
people's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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mental
healt
Correct your spelling
health

If you don’t want healt to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Submitted by steam_ahmet2004 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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