The line graph gives information about the number of people in 4 distinct age groups going to the cinema once or more than once a month in Europe between 2000 and 2011.

The line graph gives information about the number of people in 4 distinct age groups going to the cinema once or more than once a month in Europe between 2000 and 2011.
The line graph gives information about the number of
people
in 4 distinct age groups going to the cinema once or more than once a month in Europe between 2000 and 2011.
Overall
,
while
the percentage of 7-to
35-year-olds
Correct your spelling
35-year-old
cinemagoers witnessed a significant upward trend, the opposite was true for the elderly with a slight increase.
Moreover
,
it is clear that
the rate of the young cinemagoers has the highest
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
during the 11-year period. In the beginning, the figure for
people
in their thirties- five started at the lowest point with about 2
percent
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per cent
show examples
while
that in the youth began
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
more than 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. After 2 years, the percentage of
cinema goers
Add a hyphen
cinema-goers
show examples
who are in 7-14, 25-35 and 35 and over age groups saw a slight fluctuation before increasing gradually to 15, 9 and 2
percent
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per cent
show examples
respectively.
In addition
, a considerable growth of 30
percent
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per cent
show examples
was witnessed in the number of young
people
in 2004. In the second half of the research period, the rate of children and adults going to the cinema both fluctuated dramatically,
then
ending
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
at the same with approximately 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. As can be seen, the number of young
people
fluctuated significantly during the 2006-2009 period, which reached a peak at 52
percent
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per cent
show examples
while
the elderly’s percentage continued to grow gradually to nearly 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
at the end
.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cinema attendance
  • age groups
  • line graph
  • trend
  • frequency
  • once a month
  • comparative analysis
  • peak attendance
  • fluctuations
  • decline
  • increase
  • youth demographic
  • elderly viewers
  • decade
  • millennium
  • recreational habits
  • entertainment industry
  • consumer behavior
  • box office
  • crowd-favorite
  • blockbuster releases
  • market dynamics
  • digital revolution
  • streaming services
  • cultural shifts
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