Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #think #activities #child’s #health

Watching

television

is an activity that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

enjoy

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

in the morning or at night before going to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

bed. Eating breakfast

while

watching TV

also

become a habit for many

children

. Meanwhile, a lot of

children

also

play

video

games

after dinner

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

night or until midnight. In my opinion, watching

television

and playing

video

games

too much does not have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

beneficial because it will make

children

depression, anxiety, chronic neck and back problems, lower test scores, did not have much time to sleep. Another reason why it is not beneficial, it can

also

take away their time to do some other activities like exercise, reading, and playing with friends. There are

also

a lot of channels on

television

that

children

can not watch

such

as drug or alcohol

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many customs and traditional ways of behaviour are no longer relevant to modern life and not worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that it is good to share much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic wirld.Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the education which comes from education is more important than the education which comes from schooling. Other people think the opposite way. Discuss both of them and give example.