Some People believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion.

Today
people
watch different
movies
and programs on TV in order to entertain
when
Correct pronoun usage
themselves when
show examples
they are tired of their work. I agree with
somes
Correct your spelling
some
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
that cruel
movies
and
games
impact young
people
's
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
while
other
people
claim that these kinds of
films
and video
games
do not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
people
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. The essay will be discussed both options and provided relevant examples. Presently,
youngs
Correct your spelling
young
show examples
watch various
movies
and programs on television or play entertainment
games
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
so as to have a rest when they are tired of their working or studying. Most of them want to show horror
films
or play violent
games
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
computer
. These types of
movies
and
games
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
youngsters. When they watch violent
movies
on television or play bad effective
games
they are being cruel humans.
For example
, I knew a boy whose son
my
Add a missing verb
was my
show examples
neighbors
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbor
show examples
. He liked playing violent
games
all day. After
then
he was being a cruel boy. His parents regretted buying a
computer
for his birthday.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
he did not do his homework any more.
However
other
people
believe that horror
films
and
games
do not impact their children's
behavior
. Those who do not make
against
Correct pronoun usage
it against
show examples
their youngsters to watch or play them.
Nevertheless
, parents should control their children when they watch
films
on TV and play
games
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
show examples
. In conclusion, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
think that violent
films
and video
games
effect
Replace the word
affect
show examples
youngsters'
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
However
others do not think that they are dangerous for their children's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. I side with violent
movies
and video
games
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
badly for young
people
. I have tried to
anwer
Correct your spelling
answer
correctly and provided relevant examples from my experience.
Submitted by dilshod333d on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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