Some People believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion.

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

Today

people

watch different

movies

and programs on TV in order to entertain

when

Correct pronoun usage

themselves when

show examples

they are tired of their work. I agree with

somes

Correct your spelling

some

think

Correct pronoun usage

who think

show examples

that cruel

movies

and

games

impact young

people

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

while

other

people

claim that these kinds of

films

and video

games

do not

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

people

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. The essay will be discussed both options and provided relevant examples. Presently,

youngs

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

watch various

movies

and programs on television or play entertainment

games

Change preposition

show examples

computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

so as to have a rest when they are tired of their working or studying. Most of them want to show horror

films

or play violent

games

Change preposition

show examples

their

computer

. These types of

movies

and

games

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

youngsters. When they watch violent

movies

on television or play bad effective

games

they are being cruel humans.

For example

, I knew a boy whose son

Add a missing verb

was my

show examples

neighbors

Fix the agreement mistake

neighbor

show examples

. He liked playing violent

games

all day. After

then

he was being a cruel boy. His parents regretted buying a

computer

for his birthday.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

he did not do his homework any more.

However

other

people

believe that horror

films

and

games

do not impact their children's

behavior

. Those who do not make

against

Correct pronoun usage

it against

show examples

their youngsters to watch or play them.

Nevertheless

, parents should control their children when they watch

films

on TV and play

games

Change preposition

show examples

computer

Correct article usage

the computer

show examples

. In conclusion, some

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

think that violent

films

and video

games

effect

Replace the word

affect

show examples

youngsters'

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

However

others do not think that they are dangerous for their children's

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. I side with violent

movies

and video

games

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

badly for young

people

. I have tried to

anwer

Correct your spelling

answer

correctly and provided relevant examples from my experience.

Submitted by dilshod333d on Thu Jun 08 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some People believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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