The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world

The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world
The pie chart above depicts the percentage of consumption and production of
coffee
in different nations.
Besides
, it
also
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
data regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
profit distribution in
this
sector economy.
To begin
with,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
obvious that Europe is the largest
coffee
consumers
Fix the agreement mistake
consumer
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
share
of 41%, followed by America as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
second largest
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
for 39%, a figure of 80% combined from both nations.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
consumption
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
8%, and the remaining
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
12% is consumed by the rest of the world. South Africa is the largest
coffee
producer with
share
Add an article
a share
show examples
of 44%, and
then
the second largest
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Indonesia with
contribution
Add an article
the contribution
a contribution
show examples
of 22% from total global production.
This
figure
followed
Add a missing verb
was followed
show examples
by Japan and Vietnam with
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
of 18% and 16% respectively. Intriguingly, the
share
of
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
coffee
consumption
relatively
Add a missing verb
is relatively
show examples
much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
lower despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its reputation as
fourth
Correct article usage
the fourth
show examples
largest
coffee
producer globally. The highest profit distribution
contributed
Add a missing verb
was contributed
show examples
by
delivery
Correct article usage
the delivery
show examples
sector, a figure
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
than half.
Retailer
Fix the agreement mistake
Retailers
show examples
get
this
share
almost by quarter, and
then
followed by producers and exporters
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
for 15% and 10% respectively.
Submitted by odod_aja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, share with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: