The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar depicted the proportion of expenses of five different categories in the United
States
Use synonyms
, Canada, the United Kingdom and
Japan
Use synonyms
within
Change preposition
in
show examples
2009. The most prominent figures were Food, Accommodation and Transportation accounted for the highest rate, whilst Medical
Expense
Fix the agreement mistake
Expenses
show examples
and Fashion were lower. Regarding the expense of Food,
Japan
Use synonyms
witnessed the greatest proportion-about 23%, as opposed to the United
States
Use synonyms
, which accounted for roughly 13%.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, The United
States
Use synonyms
was the most ubiquitous country in terms of spending for accommodation with more than
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Canada remained the least referred with
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
, respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, Canadians spent 20% of their total expenditure on Transportation,
whereas
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
accounted for one-tenth, which was the lowest figure. In terms of Medical care and Fashion, the United
States
Use synonyms
was the most dominant nation for the former and remained the lowest rank for the latter, with less than one-tenth and roughly 4%. The lowest figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Healthcare belonged to the United Kingdom, roughly 3%.
While
Linking Words
Canada had the highest rate of Clothing,
this
Linking Words
nation and
Japan
Use synonyms
shared the second position in terms of Health care with 7% and 4%, respectively.
Submitted by nghiemtran2909 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words states, japan with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: