IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.

#countries #people #smoke #places #office #buildings #rule #support #position
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Every year the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to improve our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 and create new rules for us. One of them is to disallow smoking in public
places
, but there are advantages and disadvantages in
such
decision
Correct article usage
a decision
show examples
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I would like to compare
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons and explain my position. On the one hand, smoking has
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 impact on health,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
not just for
people
, who
smoke
,
moreover
 for those, who are nearby.
People
, who
smoke
 most likely will have
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some type of
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
cancer,
also
 it may have
impact
Add an article
an impact
show examples
 on your reproductive system.
For example
, the
smoke
 from the
cigarrets
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
70
Change preposition
of 70
show examples
%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nicotine and CO, so everyone could be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 passive smoker, but that
even
Add a missing verb
is even
show examples
worther
Correct your spelling
worse
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 to
smoke
 itself. Passive
smokers
 could have the same issue with their
healt
Correct your spelling
health
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but do not even know why, as they could do sport
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and eat just healthy food.
On the other hand
,
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should prepare specific
places
 for
smokers
, as it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bad habit,
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they cannot get rid
with
Change preposition
of with
show examples
 ease in one moment.
For instance
, most of the public
places
 in my home town are not prepared for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smokers
 and non-
smokers
people
. There
no
Add a missing verb
is no
show examples
 room to separate
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 with children and those, who want to
smoke
 during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner. Most likely, that will be crucial
spends
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 from the
cities
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city's
cities'
show examples
 budgets to create additional spaces and areas. To summarize,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the good point
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 don't allow
peaople
Correct your spelling
people
 to
smoke
 in public
places
, but we should take care of the area for
smokers
 as well, as it is not that simple to get rid of
such
Correct article usage
an awfull
show examples
awfull
Correct your spelling
awful
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
. If I were
smoker
Correct article usage
a smoker
show examples
, I would like to have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific place to take a rest with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coffee and cigarette
,
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apply
show examples
 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not disturb any other non-
smokers
.
Submitted by jennie on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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