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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given bar chart shows several changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 indicators about
people’s
Change noun form
people
show examples
 born in
Australia
 and
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 born outside
Australia
 that living in cities, rural
areas
 and towns
between
Change preposition
for
show examples
 15 years.
Overall
, there are significant changes in
people
 who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
 in cities and towns and rural
areas
 was changed dramatically.
People
 who are living in rural
areas
 decreased nearly twice in both
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010. In 1995
people
 that were born in
Australia
 and living in urban
areas
 (over 40%) less than
people
 that were born outside
Australia
 (60%)
According to
 the chart
people
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
living in towns
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2010 declined slightly
additionally
 in
1995
Add a comma
,1995
show examples
 the graph presents 20% of
people
 that were born in
Australia
 and under 20% of
people
 that were born outside
Australia
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, areas, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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