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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.

The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.
#comparison #different #kinds #energy #production #france
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The pie chart above depicts various
resources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 produced in France in the two different periods, 1995 and 2005 or two decades.
According to
Linking Words
 the data provided, in 1995 gas, petro and coal almost as unrenewable
resources
Use synonyms
 contributed equally to
energy
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 generated for just below one-third for each
categories
Change to a singular noun
category
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, at 29,63%, 29,27% 29,80% respectively. Meanwhile, nuclear contribution as renewable
Use synonyms
resources
Fix the agreement mistake
resource
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 accounted for 6,40% of total
energy
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, and the remaining stood at 4,90% come from unknown
resources
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. In 2005, the portion of gas and coal toward
energy
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 production increased slightly to 30,31% and 30,93% each,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
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 petro share fell to 19,55%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, nuclear as
source
Add an article
a source
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 of renewable
energy
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 has soared by 3,70% to 10,10%,
similarly
Linking Words
 for other
resources
Use synonyms
 has climbed to 9,10% by 4,20%. From the
statictics
Correct your spelling
statistics
, we can see that there was
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of dependence on gas,
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
 and coal as unrenewable
resources
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the increase
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increase
Change the verb form
increasing
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 in nuclear utilisation as a renewable resource.
Submitted by odod_aja on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words resources, energy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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