IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#employers #qualifications #life #qualities #employees #case #development
In
this
 modern era, many recruiters believe that universities and
collages
Correct your spelling
colleges
show examples
are more essential as compared to
experiences
Correct article usage
the experiences
show examples
 and personal traits of employers .
This
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 notion before exhibiting its conclusion. There are two main reasons employers think personal
skills
 and
experience
 are less needed than academic qualifications.
Firstly
,
due to
 high competition, to gets admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 colleges and universities is very big challenging itself. It helps to prove
individual
Add an article
an individual
show examples
 has hard
work
 and specialist
skills
.
Secondly
, there is no way to check reliably if qualities and life
experience
 in curriculum vitae
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 real or fake.
By contrast
, academic qualification can be easily verified
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
college
Add an article
a college
show examples
 degree.
However
,focusing on
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 academic degrees and ignoring their personal
skills
 and
experience
 is
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 development.
Firstly
,
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 deprives
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 talented and experienced candidates who might not have
an college degrees
Correct the article-noun agreement
a college degree
college degrees
show examples
, but are actually competent in completing and getting
work
 done rather than recent graduates as they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
need
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
 for adjusting
whereas
, a experienced recruit can be more productive from very
begginning
Correct your spelling
beginning
 and can be easily familiar to their
work
.
secondly
, recruiters mostly focus on technical
skills
 perhaps
experience
 and personal traits. An individual who has
tecnical
Correct your spelling
technical
skills
 he
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 only technical service as
company
Add an article
a company
show examples
 have to need a personal trainer who
handle
Change the verb form
handles
show examples
 extra activities , so its may effective for
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 and become a cause of
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
. In conclusion,ignoring personal
skills
 and
experience
 is negative development as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
persons who has
experience
 in their
work
 even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 might not have and degree
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are more productive for companies rather than recent graduate. A fresher can take more time for adjusting that may
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 effective for
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
.
Submitted by bhub7873 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standardized measure
  • specialized expertise
  • dedication
  • long-term goal
  • higher education
  • practical skills
  • adaptability
  • problem-solving abilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • homogeneous
  • diverse perspectives
  • negative development
  • inequality
  • valuable skills
  • insights
  • balanced approach
  • proficiency
  • safety standards
  • candidate's profile
What to do next:
Look at other essays: