IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these point of views and give your opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations #point
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 support the opinion that it is great to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
organization
Use synonyms
all
Change preposition
for all
show examples
 their
working
Replace the word
work
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,
while
Linking Words
 others disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and believe that they should not
work
Use synonyms
 in the same loop, working for different organizations is better. In the following paragraph, both of these views will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached. It is undeniable that
most old
Change the adjective
the eldest
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 generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 had a mindset that
people
Use synonyms
 should not change their jobs several times. Working in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same company throughout their working life can affect them to grow up in their career paths.
For instance
Linking Words
, employees spending many years in the same
organization
Use synonyms
 would have an opportunity to be
a
Change preposition
in a
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higher position.
In addition
Linking Words
, most
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 will increase
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 salary for their officers every
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as 15% or 20%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their based incomes, depending on how long the employees
work
Use synonyms
 for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another group argues that it is not necessary to
work
Use synonyms
 at the same company
over
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the whole working life and it would be better to change a job. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
present, it is normal that
people
Use synonyms
 always change a job because they have a chance to find a job they love.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, moving an
organization
Use synonyms
 can receive more experiences and meet new society that would be fit
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 you. In conclusion, it can be seen that these two opinions on working in the same or diffident
organization
Use synonyms
 are a very personal
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
show examples
 for many
people
Use synonyms
. Both of these have their own benefits but
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
me
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 as a young generation has agreed with the second opinion.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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