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Band 4

Some people think that government funding for schools should be spent on science subjects rather than on other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #schools #science #subjects
Undoubtedly, most countries encourage students to develop various interests in
this
 generation, Via providing different academic
subjects
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been becoming more and more irreplaceable.
Whereas
 some people consider
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
government
 funding should be spent on one major subject like
science
, others consider that
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
 more diverse. As for my perspective, I am in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the latter and the reasons will be thoroughly elaborated on as follows.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
 does not the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subjects
Fix the agreement mistake
subject
show examples
 for all students;
therefore
,
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should not simply focus on it.
In other words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of students have
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 own good
subjects
 like math and art, biology and so on.
For instance
, I was not very talented
science
Change preposition
in science
show examples
 when I was a student and my exam score
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
science
 is at the bottom of my college from time to time.
However
, I prefer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
art and often win an award at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various international competition.
As a consequence
,it makes me gain a sense of achievement
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
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 other
subjects
.
Moreover
, the
government
 pay attention to the technology industry;
thus
,
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
show examples
 environment was under the influence of it. To be more specific, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enterprise give willing to offer the higher salary to
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
science
 than
Change preposition
in other
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other area
Change the wording
another area
other areas
show examples
.
According to
 a study
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 National Taiwan University, more than 70’% of fresh
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 choose to enter
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
science
 company
gaining
Change the verb form
to gain
show examples
 high income.
As a result
, when
government
 do not control the balance for each
area
Change noun form
area's
show examples
 funding, the talent will have a huge imbalance. In conclusion, based on the aforementioned, I disagree that
government
 education funding for
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should be spent on
science
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
.
Submitted by hugs.fillet.0d on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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