IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they use to be. Give some reason why this is change has happened and suggest how family could be brought together.

#families #reason #change
The chart shows
train’s
Correct article usage
the train’s
show examples
ticket
price
according to
 the
passenger
 departure in 2 hours split
time
 in the peak hour per
day
. In
context
Add an article
the context
show examples
 of
passenger
 departure, there are three peak moments in a
day
, as it sees at 8 am, 12
pm
, and 6
pm
 when
busy
Add an article
the busy
show examples
time
 occurs.
On the contrary
, declining happens generally at 10
pm
 when
mostly
Replace the word
most
show examples
 people already go
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home. Regarding
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
ticket
price
, it is seemingly fluctuating across
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
day
, with the most expensive fare
happens
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
 at 12
pm
 (
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch
Correct your spelling
lunchtime
show examples
time
) and the cheapest one at 6
pm
.
Overall
, the
ticket
price
 tends to be generally stable, except at 12pm and 6pm which
are distinguish
Change the verb form
are distinguished
show examples
 from the other
time
. To sum it up, the
ticket
price
apparently
Add a missing verb
is apparently
show examples
 influenced by
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 of passengers in a
day
, when the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
passenger
 spike, so be the
price
ticket
Change preposition
of ticket
show examples
.
However
,
this
 circumstance does not happen at 6
pm
, when the train’s fare
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 slightly correlate with the
passenger
 surge.
Submitted by muholligan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: