The pie charts compare the proportions of five separated energy supplies in France in 1995 and 2005.In the generation, all types of energy production witnessed an upward trend except for petrol.

The pie charts compare the proportions of five separated energy supplies in France in 1995 and 2005.In the generation, all types of energy production witnessed an upward trend except for petrol.
The given charts present places which produce
coffee
, consumed markets and people who gain profit from
coffee
Correct article usage
the coffee
show examples
trade.
Overall
, the market that consumes the most
coffee
is Europe
while
South America is the biggest
coffee
producer among the shown regions. Noticeably, shippers get more money than anyone else in
this
crucial industry.
To begin
with, in the produced chart, it is obvious that South America accounted for nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the world's
coffee
production. Noticeably, Central America, Asia and Africa shared approximate proportions of around 18%.
Finally
, 2% is the rate of Oceania, which is
also
the lowest of all. Moving to the consumed chart, Europeans drink more than 50% of global
coffee
,
while
North American people consume
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
of Europeans and Japanese even less than that, only 7%. The
coffee
consumption of the rest of the world is 27%.
Finally
, the profit goes chart proves that shippers are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
who get the most benefit from trading activities,
accountingaccounted
Correct your spelling
accounting accounted
for 55%,
while
sellers only get nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of that, at 25%. And
last
but not least are explorers and producers, which both share similar proportions of 10%.
Submitted by luudang97 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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