The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
There are two different
bar
graphs given which demonstrate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of
people
who were born in
Australia
and outside
Australia
living in urban, rural and
towns
between 1995 and 2010. The
bar
graph shows the different values of the population living in
Australia
and outside the
country
. As can be analyzed, the first
bar
graph includes that in 1995
people
born in
Australia
50%
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
in
cities
, 20%
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
in
towns
and 30%
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
in rural
areas
.
On the contrary
in 1995
people
born outside
Australia
60% live in
cities
, 15% live in
towns
and 40%
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
in rural
areas
of the
country
. Another
bar
graph for 2010 includes that
people
born in
Australia
65% live in
cities
, 15% live in
towns
and 15% live in rural
areas
.
In contrast
with 2010
people
born outside
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia
80% live in
cities
, 10% live in
towns
and 5% live in rural
areas
of the
country
.
Overall
, in comparison to the 1995 and 2010
bar
graphs
people
born in and outside
Australia
live in
towns
increases which are born outside
Australia
and
people
born in
Australia
have less number of
people
live in
towns
, rural
areas
of the
country
.
Submitted by bilaltip2000 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 68%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bar, people, australia, towns, country, cities, areas with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 5 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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