IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #australian #water #consumption #cities #year #distribution #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar chart illustrates information about the average Australian annual residential
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in six selected cities for
last
Linking Words
 year.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
 the pie chart provides data about how
water
Use synonyms
 was used in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 was in Perth, followed by Brisbane, Adelaide, Sydney, Melbourne and Canberra.
In addition
Linking Words
, the largest
water
Use synonyms
 user in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2014 was Agriculture, followed by Households,
water
Use synonyms
 supply for savage and drainage, electricity and gas supply, and
last
Linking Words
 were manufacturing, other industries and mining. Looking into details, it is evident that the highest
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 was Perth with 300
kilolitres
Use synonyms
 per sector as an annual average. It is followed by Brisbane and Adelaide where the sector used 250
kilolitres
Use synonyms
 and 230
kilolitres
Use synonyms
 in a year on average.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in Sydney
water
Use synonyms
 consumed was 200
kilolitres
Use synonyms
 and the smallest
water
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 for
last
Linking Words
 year was Melbourne and Canberra, about 150
kilolitres
Use synonyms
 and 130
kilolitres
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the largest
water
Use synonyms
 user in 2014 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 was the Agriculture industry with a proportion of 67 %. The next
water
Use synonyms
 usage was households (9%). It is followed by
water
Use synonyms
 supply, sewage and drainage (7%) and
water
Use synonyms
 used for electricity and gas supply (7%). The rest were used by manufacturing (4%), other industries (4%) and mining (2%).
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, consumption, australia, kilolitres with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: