IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

The chart below shows the proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.
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The table provides a breakdown by selected people of those on 1) food; 2) electronic equipment; 3) music; 4) videos; in the UK in 1998. It is clear from the table that women are rated as the most consumer by category 1) food; with 39 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 boys are rated as the least buyer by class 1) food; with 9 per
cent
Use synonyms
. In division 2) electronic equipment; the most purchaser with 23 per
cent
Use synonyms
 belongs to children,
while
Linking Words
 the smallest one with 1 per
cent
Use synonyms
 pertains to female. In section 3) music; the major shopper with 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 resides in girls, in comparison with the minor indicator with 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 resides 3 groups: adults, men, and women. In the
last
Linking Words
 division girls are rated as the biggest user with 18 per
cent
Use synonyms
, in comparison females are the smallest ones with 0.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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