Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shop, and on public transport.

Some individuals believe that mobile
phones
should be prohibited in public facilities namely, libraries,
shopstore
Correct your spelling
shop store
, and on public transport. I totally agree with
this
statement, because
ban
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
mobile
phones
in public areas can reduce distraction, decrease
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
, and
encoruage
Correct your spelling
encourage
people
to become social.
To begin
with ,there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
various reasons why I believe that
prohibite
Correct your spelling
prohibiting
utilizing
moblie
Correct your spelling
mobile
phones
in public places can have
a positive impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive impact
positive impacts
show examples
on
people
as well as
society.
Firstly
,
ban
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile
phones
can help
people
to concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their work.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
mobile
phones
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
considered
source
Add an article
a source
the source
show examples
of .
For example
, ringing the mobile
phones
in
library
Add an article
the library
a library
show examples
can make other
people
lose their
focue
Correct your spelling
focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their work , which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of their time.
Secondly
,
ban
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile
phones
can assist to minimize the rate of
crime
in society.
For instance
, in public transport like, buses, trains,
subways
Correct word choice
and subways
show examples
criminals often target expensive items namely,
phones
to steal , or maybe use the GPS to track the victims in order
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
commit their
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.
Finially
Correct your spelling
Finally
,
prohibit
Wrong verb form
prohibiting
show examples
mobile
phones
in public zones can incentive
people
to become more social.
For instance
,
people
who take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transport like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
buses, trains,
subways
Correct word choice
and subways
show examples
can use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
commuting time to make
a new relationships
Correct the article-noun agreement
new relationships
a new relationship
show examples
with passengers
instead
of using mobile
phones
.
Therefore
,
this
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
the
overall
health of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
specially, mental aspects, because researchers showed
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
make
Replace the word
making
show examples
relationships can contribute to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
depression,
Correct word choice
and anciety
show examples
anciety
Correct your spelling
anxiety
. In conclusion , I strongly believe that
ban
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
mobile
phones
in public facilities can bring many benefits
such
as,
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
people
to concentrate,
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
the rate of
crime
, motivate
people
to become
socially
Change the word
social
show examples
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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