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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two pie charts below the show persentages of industry sectors contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.

The two pie charts below the show persentages of industry sectors contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2000 and 2016.
#two #show #persentages #industry #sectors #contribution #economy #turkey
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Essay type:
Pie
Use synonyms
 chart 📉 The two
pie
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 charts 📈 illustrate 8 categories of
Turkey
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's means (agriculture, Transportation, Healthcare and education, Finance, Business and others , Leisure and Hospitality, and government) over the period of 16 years It is noticeable that the proportion of using agriculture and Leisure and Hospitality experienced a considerable lower between 2000 and 2016,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for construction and Trade, Utilities and Transportation power saw an arm. In 2000,24% of the average,
Turkey
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's economy went into agriculture which was the largest
pie
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 graph. But, by 2016
this
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 figure had fallen by one in ten. During the given period, the demand for Leisure and Hospitality in
Turkey
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 experienced a 3 per cent decrease from 17% to 14%.
By contrast
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, in terms of Trade, Utilitea and Transportation the proportion of help in
this
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 category made up 14% in 2000, after sixteen years
this
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 figure saw an increase at 16 per cent making larger sectors on the sketch 📈. In
Turkey
Use synonyms
 country, the smallest proportion belonged to construction in the first 🥇 year,
however
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, in 2016, there was a 7% rise from 3% to 10% in
this
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 category by overtaking finance, business and other government sectors. The only unchanged sector in the given
pie
Use synonyms
 chart 📉 is Healthcare and Education which maintained its rate over the period accounting 🧾 for 17%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, turkey with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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