Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

In recent days, many individuals use apps and smartphones to transfer cash to friends, families and businesses. From my point of view,
this
is
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
positive development for society.
However
, there is a greater potential
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
fraud
, especially who do not know too much about the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. On the one hand, transferring
money
online brings several advantages to society. In the past, people had to make trips to the bank and wait in line and fill out
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of the forms. Now, citizens can
transferring
Change the verb form
transfer
be transferring
show examples
bills through apps that can send
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
immediately. The time saved is an important factor for individuals and businesses. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand, It is point that transferring
money
has
potential
Add an article
the potential
show examples
of
fraud
.
For example
, when
transfer
Change the verb form
transferring
show examples
money
online, There is
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
to password
exposed
Add a missing verb
is exposed
show examples
to the hacker, who will exchange the password and take
money
.
In addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, youth people can deal with
this
complication, but old citizens are not mindful of
potential
Add an article
the potential
show examples
of
fraud
.
Consequently
, every year thousands of retired citizens become victims of
fraud
money
through the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. In conclusion, transferring
money
over the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
bring several benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
society, none the less person must be careful and mindful
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
potential
fraud
.
Submitted by alaan0542 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: