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Writing Samples
Band 3

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #smartphones #transfer #money #friends #businesses #development
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In recent days, many individuals use apps and smartphones to transfer cash to friends, families and businesses. From my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 is
major
Add an article
a major
show examples
 positive development for society.
However
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, there is a greater potential
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
fraud
Use synonyms
, especially who do not know too much about the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. On the one hand, transferring
money
Use synonyms
 online brings several advantages to society. In the past, people had to make trips to the bank and wait in line and fill out
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of the forms. Now, citizens can
transferring
Change the verb form
transfer
be transferring
show examples
 bills through apps that can send
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 immediately. The time saved is an important factor for individuals and businesses. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand, It is point that transferring
money
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 has
potential
Add an article
the potential
show examples
 of
fraud
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.
For example
Linking Words
, when
transfer
Change the verb form
transferring
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 online, There is
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
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 to password
exposed
Add a missing verb
is exposed
show examples
 to the hacker, who will exchange the password and take
money
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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to
Change preposition
apply
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, youth people can deal with
this
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 complication, but old citizens are not mindful of
potential
Add an article
the potential
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 of
fraud
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.
Consequently
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, every year thousands of retired citizens become victims of
fraud
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
 through the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. In conclusion, transferring
money
Use synonyms
 over the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 bring several benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 society, none the less person must be careful and mindful
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 potential
fraud
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by alaan0542 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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