IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year.

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year.
#line #show #information #crime #uk #year
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The line graph depicts the relationship between
age
Use synonyms
 and the misconduct committed
last
Linking Words
 period and the pie chart illustrates the proportion of various
crime
Use synonyms
 did by the population.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 people who were between the
age
Use synonyms
 group 12 to 28 committed most of the
crime
Use synonyms
 and violent
crime
Use synonyms
 was by far the most popular violation. In the past year, we can see that teenagers start doing illegal things from the
age
Use synonyms
 of 8 which later has a huge increase in
crime
Use synonyms
 as they get old. Teenagers who were 12 years old committed 5 thousand
crimes
Use synonyms
 in the past year and as they got older the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 shot up very quickly. People who were between the
age
Use synonyms
 of 16-20 did 80 thousand
crimes
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 year.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 when their
age
Use synonyms
 reaches around ,28 the number of
crimes
Use synonyms
 starts decreasing as they get mature and remains constant. Moving on to the types of
crime
Use synonyms
 committed, violent
crime
Use synonyms
 was doing the most, at 46%. The next most committed
crime
Use synonyms
 was property
crime
Use synonyms
, accounting for 23% and drug
crime
Use synonyms
 being similar around 22%. The least committed
crime
Use synonyms
 was public order
crime
Use synonyms
 which accumulated 9%.
Submitted by yashrrajput46 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, crime, crimes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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