The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
The pie charts reveal
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the percentage of
time
working adults with the difference in 50 years. The first thing we can see is that amount of working
time
has increased by 9%.
On the contrary
,
time
spent with friends and family decreased by almost three times. The road to work began to take literally forth as much in comparison with 1958.
Whereas
people start to spend more
time
at home, the quantity of duration relaxing at home and sleeping raised
on
Change preposition
by
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5% and 7% respectively.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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we can highlight, that
time
spent playing sports and other hobbies slightly changed, it grows by 2% in 2008 compared to 1958. We can summarise, that in 2008 people spends half of their
time
related to work.
That is
to say, they spend 50% of their day either going to work
,
Remove the comma
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or at the office.
To sum up
, all the changes in these 50 years are not so considerable.
Submitted by li_istomina on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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