The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts reveal

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the percentage of

time

Use synonyms

working adults with the difference in 50 years. The first thing we can see is that amount of working

time

Use synonyms

has increased by 9%.

On the contrary

Linking Words

time

Use synonyms

spent with friends and family decreased by almost three times. The road to work began to take literally forth as much in comparison with 1958.

Whereas

Linking Words

people start to spend more

time

Use synonyms

at home, the quantity of duration relaxing at home and sleeping raised

Change preposition

show examples

5% and 7% respectively.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

we can highlight, that

time

Use synonyms

spent playing sports and other hobbies slightly changed, it grows by 2% in 2008 compared to 1958. We can summarise, that in 2008 people spends half of their

time

Use synonyms

related to work.

That is

Linking Words

to say, they spend 50% of their day either going to work

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or at the office.

To sum up

Linking Words

, all the changes in these 50 years are not so considerable.

li_istomina

Jul 4, 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

156 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

percentage
activities
working adults
increase
decrease
shift
balance
time
significant
household tasks
leisure
reflect
importance
education
personal development
stable
constant
development
focus
responsibilities

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