IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of who watched reality and game shows in men and women and 16-24, 25-34, 35-44 and 45+ age groups in Australia.

The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of who watched reality and game shows in men and women and 16-24, 25-34, 35-44 and 45+ age groups in Australia.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graphs illustrate the proportion of who watched
reality
Use synonyms
 and game shows in men and women and 16-24, 25-34, 35-44 and 45+
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 in Australia. We can see from the data that most Australian people watched more
reality
Use synonyms
 shows than game shows,
as a result
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality
Use synonyms
 shows are more popular.
Reality
Use synonyms
 shows
watched
Add a missing verb
are watched
show examples
 by about 70 % of women
groups
Use synonyms
, which is almost double as many as men. If we compare by
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
, the percentage of human beings watching
reality
Use synonyms
 shows increases steadily from ages 16 to 45 with the lowest percentage of viewers, at just over 50% of the group 16-24 and the greatest percentage, at 68% of the over 45. The game shows are popular among the
age
Use synonyms
 group over 45 years (70%)
whereas
Linking Words
 the smallest pattern is demonstrated by
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
 -34
age
Use synonyms
 group (38%).
As well as
Linking Words
 those are popular among both the male and female
groups
Use synonyms
, at 60%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words reality, age, groups with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: