IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that "Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but the quality of their work". To what extent do you agree or disagree to this belief?

#people #employers #employees #dress #quality #work #belief
Nowadays, there has been a rise in fashion trends and people have adapted to the changes.
Although
 it is thought that managers should not be worried about the dressing habits of their team
whilst
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
others think it is the
quality
 of the job that should be considered.I disagree with
this
 statement and will delve into it
further
 and give examples as well.
Firstly
, dressing describes one's personality and how they feel. The type of
cloth
Fix the agreement mistake
clothes
show examples
 one wears to the space of
work
 tells much about
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
oneself
show examples
 and as well
speak
Correct subject-verb agreement
speaks
show examples
 well about the company.
For instance
, the attire of nurses and security personnel globally tells a lot about the job and
hence
, decency is accomplished since you cannot wear anything you want to
work
.
Furthermore
, society tends to appreciate the decency of workers and professionals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
dress
 well and encourage them to continue with the good
work
. They
also
 serve as role models to the youth and they grow to adopt the same dressing habit.
Hence
, employers should be
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
 concerned about it.
Secondly
, indecent dressing behaviour causes rape and sexual harassment and
this
 meant happens in the workplace when they give freedom to their employees because some people will
dress
 inappropriately.
On the other hand
, the
quality
 of
work
 members produce is critical for their companies or various professions. Managers should put more energy and effort into the performance of their members to result in good productivity.
However
, it doesn't mean they should not consider neatness or other aspects of their lives.
For example
, bankers
work
 really hard yet they
dress
 very decent at the workplace.
Therefore
 both
dress
 and
quality
 of
work
 are needed and can be done for the progress of their companies.
To conclude
, employers should equally be responsible and concerned about the way their workers
dress
 and the
quality
 of
work
 they produce. How a person
dress
Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
show examples
 speaks well of his or her personality and that of the profession. It
also
 helps promote decency and prevent any sexually related harassment in or out of the workplace. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement that employers should not be concerned about the dressing habits of workers but rather the
quality
 of
work
 they do.
Submitted by dede on

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