The graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK

The graph below shows in percentage terms the changing patterns of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the UK
The line graph provided information about the percentage of that
domectically
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domestically
engineering is transformed into high tech in UK families.
Overall
, the proportion of using modern equipment
tend
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tends
show examples
to increase. It is
also
apparent that there was a rocket in the
number
of using mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
. As regards the
first,
in two years from 1996
to1997
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to 1997
, there was no internet access until 1998.
This
figure
standed
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stood
show examples
at 10% and
then
rocketed to over 40%. A similar trend was witnessed in mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
.
Staring
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Starting
show examples
from under 20%, the data of users increased dramatically year by year. In 2003, the rate of mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
almost quadrupled,
reached
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reaching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak of 70%. At the beginning of the given period, both home
computer
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computers
show examples
and CD players were over 20%. Approximately 30% was the total
number
of families using home
computer
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computers
show examples
while
this
number
was doubled in CD
player
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players
show examples
. Over the next 7 years, the rates of all both experienced a steady growth,
nearly
Correct article usage
a nearly
show examples
30% increase. It is noticeable that the
number
of families that used CD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
always occupied the highest rate.
Submitted by nthien7012 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rocket" was used 2 times.

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