The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The graph illustrates the comparison between

men

Use synonyms

and women in Britain who

further

Linking Words

their education

part-timetime

Correct your spelling

part-time time

part-time-time

part-primetime

and

full-timetime

Correct your spelling

full-time time

full-sometime

full-time-time

between the

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

1970 and 1991.

Overall

Linking Words

, between the three periods, the

number

Use synonyms

of male

students

Use synonyms

who study

full-timetime

Correct your spelling

full-time time

full-time-time

fluctuates

while

Linking Words

the

number

Use synonyms

of full-time female

students

Use synonyms

shows a gradual increase.

Firstly

Linking Words

, more

men

Use synonyms

further

Linking Words

their education full time in 1970 and 1971 bearing the figure of 1000 as compared to the women where the

number

Use synonyms

is just below 800.

This

Linking Words

trend

Add the comma(s)

, however,

show examples

however

Linking Words

changes after 2 years as the

number

Use synonyms

of full-time female

students

Use synonyms

gradually rise and reached up to 1500

while

Linking Words

the

number

Use synonyms

men

Use synonyms

who

Change the pronoun

whom

show examples

further

Linking Words

education full time fluctuates as the sum starts as high as 1000 in 1970

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

decreasing to 850 in 1980 and increasing again to 950 in 1990/91. Meanwhile,

this

Linking Words

is a different case for

students

Use synonyms

who studied

part-timetime

Correct your spelling

part-time time

part-time-time

as the graph shows development throughout three decades for both

men

Use synonyms

and women. It begins with 150 for

men

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in 1970 and increases

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to 250 in 1990/91.

Similarly

Linking Words

with female

students

Use synonyms

where in the beginning it starts as low as 100 in the year 1970/1971

then

Linking Words

increase as a similar amount of male student in the year 1990/1991

Submitted by nhana.paiman on Fri Jul 07 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, number, students with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuates" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

203 words

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The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Directors and managers of organization are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people are very strict about their school uniforms and the apprearance of their pupils, while other schools have a relaxed dress cod

3)Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?