Some employers of er their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staf healthier and thus more ef ective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a conclusion.

#employers #employees #membership #gyms #sports #clubs #staf #ef #ective #work #benefit #arguments #aspects #debate #conclusion

Many

employers

usualy

Correct your spelling

usually

fund membership of

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

clubs for their workforce to reach benefits on their business,

however

, some

Change preposition

apply

show examples

employers

and

entrapreneurs

Correct your spelling

entrepreneurs

believe that

this

measure is not beneficial. The former method is reasonable and it could decrease the demerits in workplaces

such

as factories and would bring positive impacts in companies. Many

entrapreneurs

Correct your spelling

entrepreneurs

and

employers

consider a significant budget for

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities for their workforces. They believe that

this

action is absolutely important because it

berings

Correct your spelling

brings

physical health for their employees,

as a result

, they will be able to work effectively and more

accurate

Change the word

accurately

show examples

in their

profassions

Correct your spelling

professions

profession

This

situation has advantages for both the owners of workplaces and employees.

On the other hand

, the

denires

Correct your spelling

deniers

desires

think that

instead

of spending money on gyms and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

clubs, it is better to fund courses which are related to

workforce's

Correct article usage

the workforce's

show examples

tasks. They

also

believe that these

inecitives

Correct your spelling

initiatives

should be better

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

put on other services

such

as health

ensurace

Correct your spelling

insurance

or medical services.

This

is not to say that the owners of occupations must not consider

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities and

excercise

Correct your spelling

exercise

for their workers and employees. They have a

reasponsibility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

about

Change preposition

for

show examples

profassions

Correct your spelling

professions

professionals

in their companies. Spending a budget on

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities helps the

entrapreneurs

Correct your spelling

entrepreneurs

for rising their income.

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

people who work in work

palces

Correct your spelling

places

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

their physical health. In conclusion, I agree

employers

must consider a

siginficant

Correct your spelling

significant

amount of money for workers in their companies and it has a great deal of pros for each of these two groups.

Submitted by darkred6171 on Fri Jul 07 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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