The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#percentage #change #students #university #graduates #canadian #provinces #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar graph compares the ratio of international colleger among the total university

graduates

in several Canadian regions between 2001 and 2006.

Overall

, all the provinces increased the share of international

graduates

, except Alberta. Outstanding is the growth of British Columbia which doubled the figure over the years. Looking into details, regions which hospited most foreign students were NewBrunswickk, Nova Scotia, and Quebec in 2001(all of them around 6-7%). The ranking of the three didn't change over the years, in fact, the figures became approximately 12%, 10%, and 8% respectively.

Moreover

, regions

such

as Manitoba, Newfoundland-Labrador, and Ontario exhibited a significant rise. Each of them grew from about 3-4% to 6-7%. Foreign

graduates

of British Columbia experienced a substantial climb. The percentage went up from less than 5% to more than 10%, surpassing local areas

such

as Quebec and Alberta.

On the other hand

, Alberta showed a decline (from 5% to 4%) and resulted to be the region that nurtured the least percentage of international

graduates

in 2006.

Submitted by leokuwayama03 on Sat Jul 08 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

168 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the percentage change in the share of international students among university graduates in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that young people should be abitious. Others believe that it is fine if young people do not have big aims in life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree?