IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie graphs below illustrate the average of household incomes in Japan and Malaysia in terms of 5 categories in 2010.

The pie graphs below illustrate the average of household incomes in Japan and Malaysia in terms of 5 categories in 2010.
The pie graphs below illustrate the average
of
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apply
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household incomes in
Japan
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 and
Malaysia
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 in terms of 5 categories in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the
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apply
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housing income accounted for the highest percentage
in
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of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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household incomes in
Malaysia
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 and
Japan
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. In
Japan
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, transport and health care doubled for
Malaysia
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. The Malaysian
householdings
Correct your spelling
households
 spent the most income on housing, representing 34%.
This
Linking Words
 figure was higher than
Japan
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, with only 21%. The Japanese
householdings
Correct your spelling
households
householding
 allocated most of their income for other goods and services, accounting for 29%. In terms of food,
Japan
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 and
Malaysia
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 had
the
Correct article usage
a
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 similar proportion, standing at 24% and 27% respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest household expenditures were transport and health care. Surprisingly,
Japan
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 had
the
Correct article usage
apply
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double
Wrong verb form
doubled
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 in these 2 categories, with the former
20
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at 20
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% and the latter
6
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at 6
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%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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