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Writing Samples
Band 3

The given chart and graphs demonstrate the data of deaths from flu and in June 1996, a special vaccine was created only for women in big cities of the nation.

#graphs #data #deaths #flu #june #vaccine #women #cities #nation
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To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
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 the number of deaths of
females
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 as compared to males from June to August was significantly high.
According to
Linking Words
 the
data
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,data
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 problem began in Feb 1996, when the
death
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rate
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 was at
peak
Correct pronoun usage
its peak
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 in June month, and around 3500 women lost their lives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
death
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rate
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 drastically increased from April month for both sexes. As the vaccine trial started for the women, the
death
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rate
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 moderately came down from June to Dec. Surprisingly, the vaccines were tested only for
females
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, but the
death
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rate
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 slowed down for men, which indicates their strong immunity. In December the number of deaths in males were 1500 and in female was around 2500. The authorities
also
Linking Words
 released the data for the recipients of vaccine groups most at risk, 28% of the
females
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 were not given vaccines, 13% got hospitalized and the largest category who were above 65 years old was 35% highest which had maximum risk of
death
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 flu
male's
Change noun form
male
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death
Use synonyms
rate
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 was always lesser than
females
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 from February to December.
Additionally
Linking Words
, women above 65 years old were at high risk of
death
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 which got vaccines on priority.
Submitted by gsmultani506 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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