The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.

The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries.
The data provided illustrates the former statistics and predicts the upcoming trends of elder population, aged 65 and above, all united in percent. The table contains the citizenship proportion in 3 distintive years: 1988, 2000, 2030, in 3 countries: Canada, Germay, and the United Kingdom.
Germany
is the most crowed country in 3 years displayed in the table.
In other words
, people aged 65 onwards were living, and possibly living in
Germany
the future. Surprisingly, the proportion of the target group grew and will potentially grow constantly, for 5 percent each. As seen, in
Germany
, there are 20% of elders in 1988, 25% in 2000, and 25% in 2030.
Similarly
, other countries including Canada and the UK
also
have the upward trend of citizen aged 65 and above who lived and might live in their countries. Like
Germany
, Canada shows the rising of population by 5% from the previous years.
However
, the United Kingdom exhibited the unstable trend: between 1988 and 2000, only 1% increase in the number of citizen aged 65 and so on.
However
, the upcoming trend in 2030 predicts the huge increase of 5% in polulation, from 15% in 2000 to 20% in 2030.
To conclude
,
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words germany with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage change
  • population
  • aged 65 and above
  • information
  • table
  • data
  • trends
  • patterns
  • comparison
  • predicted
  • future
  • findings
  • comment
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