IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes man health problems.Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree

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Nowadays ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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food and drink
products
Use synonyms
 which contain high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 are being manufactured, which brings a lot of
health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 , in
future
Add a comma
,future
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 these sugary
products
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 should change to be
a
Change the article
an
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 expensive thing.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 becomes a reason to intake less
sugar
Use synonyms
. Let’s discuss
Linking Words
further
Correct pronoun usage
this further
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 in the other paragraphs. A large number of food and drinks are fabricated
contains
Change the verb form
to contain
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 prominent
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in it.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it causes many
health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
solid
Add an article
a solid
show examples
 amount of
sugar
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 in a product gives a lot of demand for that brand.
Such
Linking Words
 as , it increases the taste , appearance and quality of the product. By
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
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 they inspire the customers to buy their
products
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 again and again.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it will cause innumerable
health
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problems
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , intaking effective
sugar
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products
Use synonyms
 cause
diabetics
Replace the word
diabetes
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,
obesity
Correct word choice
and obesity
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 and
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to severe
problems
Use synonyms
 in forthcoming.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, these sweetener brands should be extravagant.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 action will lead the customer provoke to purchase sugary
products
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
besides
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 it becomes a habit for them to eradicate less
sugar
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , if a biscuit company or drink company sells their product for
affordable
Add an article
an affordable
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 rate, people consume it frequently.
Likewise
Linking Words
 , If it is sold
for
Change preposition
in
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premium
Correct article usage
the premium
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 range the consumption rate would
decreased
Change the verb form
decrease
be decreased
show examples
. To summarize , people should be aware of high level
sugar
Use synonyms
 contain
products
Use synonyms
 and it causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countless
health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 me ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
 should make their
products
Use synonyms
 costly so that customers stimulate to intake less
sugar
Use synonyms
 and avoid many diseases.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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