IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#film #industry #influence #world #governments #duty #money #industries #cultures
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In
this
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 current day and age, it is an indubitable fact that the entertainment
industry
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 has risen over the past few decades and the US
film
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industry
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 has influenced many viewers through their exciting
movies
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. It is said that the higher authority should invest funds in their own
film
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 departments which
promotes
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promote
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 and protects their
culture
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. I agree with the above statement;
however
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, I do believe that it is
upto
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up to
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 how they consider
foriegn
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foreign
movies
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 and
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
 in their lives. To commence with, the government should invest money
on
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in
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
film
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industry
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 for imparting knowledge
among
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to
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 youth.
In other words
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, by watching
english
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English
show examples
movies
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,
majority
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the majority
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 of youngsters get attracted towards
western
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Western
show examples
culture
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 and start following their lifestyle.
In
Change preposition
As
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 a consequence, they are forgetting their own
culture
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 and traditions.
For example
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, from one of the surveys in India, it was reported that around three-quarters of school-going children get attracted by
western
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Western
show examples
movies
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 and prefer to dress up like foreign
film
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 artists.
Moreover
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, youngsters are
also
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 attracted by
unetical
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unethical
 practices
such
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 as smoking,
drugs
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drug
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 consumption,
robbery
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and robbery
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 that are normally shown in
english
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English
show examples
movies
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.
As a result
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, students waste most of their time in
such
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 activities and suffer in their academics.
Therefore
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, it is mandatory that the council should come forward and spend money on
their
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the
show examples
film
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industry
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 that produces documentaries or
movies
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 which deliver their own cultured and moral values.
Nonetheless
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, it is
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 the mind of individuals how they would like to take
movies
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 and lead their life
accordingly
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 as a person can
also
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 learn positive things from
western
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Western
show examples
movies
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.
For instance
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, students can learn different accents of speaking
english
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English
show examples
 and can
built
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build
be built
show examples
 up advanced vocabulary through watching
such
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movies
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. In conclusion, it is necessary for the government to promote their own cultured
movies
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 which impart good moral values
among
Change preposition
in
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 society;
nevertheless
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, it is
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 people whether they want to take
movies
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 in
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 sense or negative.
Submitted by manjotkaur540 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Americanisation
  • Cultural imperialism
  • Local cinema
  • Cultural diversity
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Film subsidies
  • National identity
  • Artistic expression
  • Blockbusters
  • Cultural preservation
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