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Writing Samples
Band 5

The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the changes which occurred.

The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the changes which occurred.
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The pie charts depict information about the sources of energy
oil
Use synonyms
, natural gas, coal, hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 in the USA between 1980 and 1990. The units are calibrated in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
,
oil
Use synonyms
 is in
leading
Add an article
the leading
a leading
show examples
 position most of the people in
usa
Correct your spelling
USA
 have used it
while
Linking Words
 hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 is insignificant.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,in the year 1980, 42% of
oil
Use synonyms
 is utilised by people which is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 in the USA.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1990 ,8% of
oil
Use synonyms
 had been decreased.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
source
Add an article
the source
a source
show examples
 of energy natural gas had 26% which is
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 rate after
oil
Use synonyms
 but 1% had been decreased in 1990.
Remaining
Correct article usage
The remaining
show examples
 three
source
Change to a plural noun
sources
show examples
 of energy coal had 22% by 1990 5% had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased. Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 least but
5%had
Correct your spelling
5% had
 been raised in 1990.
Moreover
Linking Words
, hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 remains unchanged in both the years.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, power with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sources of energy
  • predominant
  • renewables
  • nuclear
  • significant increases
  • significant decreases
  • technological advancements
  • policy changes
  • trends
  • overall
  • preference
  • shifts
  • implications
  • future energy landscape
  • decades
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