IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, transport, and dirty water. Governments should impose extra taxes on flights or accommodations to restrict today's tourism industry.

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays are complications that
causes
Wrong verb form
are caused
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from
Change preposition
by
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 tourism.It is undeniable that
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
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,
flights
Use synonyms
 and trips have become an essential part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,and they led to different problems.
However
Linking Words
 these days we may see solutions for governments. One of the main aspects of the problem is that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 would have some awful changes,
such
Linking Words
 as unnecessary expenses of
water
Use synonyms
 and
pollution of
Replace the word
polluted
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 air
due to
Linking Words
airplanes’
Change the spelling
aeroplanes’
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 motors and
water
Use synonyms
 pollution.One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 behind
that is
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of extra money
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
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 if you are
tourist
Correct article usage
a tourist
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,you will not pay for residence and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
flights
Use synonyms
,you will
considering
Wrong verb form
be considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
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a citizen.
This
Linking Words
 could lead to continuous
flights
Use synonyms
 or might result in
water
Use synonyms
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem government should take action,and make some conditions for visitors,namely taxes on
flights
Use synonyms
 to limit
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of them,and on accommodation to reduce expenses.
Moreover
Linking Words
,there
something
Add a missing verb
is something
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 that people
also
Linking Words
 should know.Society of tourists tend to think that they should not care about
ecology
Correct article usage
the ecology
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 of other countries,so they
also
Linking Words
 have to take action and use less
water
Use synonyms
 and do not litter surrounding.
This
Linking Words
 may be the easiest and so the best way to restrict
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
 of tourism. Having weighed everything mentioned
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,we may come to
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
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 that
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 conditions for visitors
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the best way to solve a variety
problems
Change preposition
of problems
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 tourism as I mentioned before.So it would not be surprising to see some positive effects in the near future,as we may notice in some countries where those measures
already
Add a missing verb
have already
show examples
taken
Add a missing verb
been taken
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.Actions must be taken urgently,
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 we will get bad results soon

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the major issues related to tourism but lacks sufficient depth and clarity. Expand more on each point with detailed examples and explanations to enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next and that all ideas are well-connected. This will make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas clearly, such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'In addition,' 'Therefore,' and 'As a result.' This ensures that your essay flows logically from one point to another.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully introduced and concluded your essay, making sure the main topic is clear to the reader.
task achievement
You have identified relevant issues such as environmental pollution and unnecessary expenditure in tourism, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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