The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did the regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did the regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar graph depicts
men
and women who did
Add an article
a
the
show examples
regular physical
activity
in Australia in 2010. As an overview,
men
demonstrate declined trend and women represent an increased trend but in the
last
, it decreased.
Moreover
, the highest physical
activity
was done by the 15 to 24
age
group
of
men
.
While
the lowest is in the 35 to 44
men
age
group
.
While
the 45 to 54
age
group
of females did the highest exercise. The
age
group
of 15 to 24 did physical
activity
more than 50% which was 52.8%.
However
, other
age
groups are less than 50% in 2010. The lowest
activity
done by the 35 to 44
age
group
which is only 39.5%
as well as
65 and over
age
was the second highest 46.7%. 55 to 64
age
women did the highest physical movement which is 53.3% and it was followed by the 55 to 64
age
group
which was 35%.
However
, other
age
groups are less than 50% in 2010 and the lowest
activity
did by 65 and over 47.1%.
Submitted by paramravalia24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, activity, age, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: