The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did the regular physical activity in 2010.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did the regular physical activity in 2010.

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The bar graph depicts

men

Use synonyms

and women who did

Add an article

the

show examples

regular physical

activity

Use synonyms

in Australia in 2010. As an overview,

men

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demonstrate declined trend and women represent an increased trend but in the

last

Linking Words

, it decreased.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the highest physical

activity

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was done by the 15 to 24

age

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group

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men

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While

Linking Words

the lowest is in the 35 to 44

men

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age

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group

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While

Linking Words

the 45 to 54

age

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group

Use synonyms

of females did the highest exercise. The

age

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group

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of 15 to 24 did physical

activity

Use synonyms

more than 50% which was 52.8%.

However

Linking Words

, other

age

Use synonyms

groups are less than 50% in 2010. The lowest

activity

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done by the 35 to 44

age

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group

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which is only 39.5%

as well as

Linking Words

65 and over

age

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was the second highest 46.7%. 55 to 64

age

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women did the highest physical movement which is 53.3% and it was followed by the 55 to 64

age

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group

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which was 35%.

However

Linking Words

, other

age

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groups are less than 50% in 2010 and the lowest

activity

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did by 65 and over 47.1%.

paramravalia24Sat Jul 15 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, activity, age, group with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Regular exercise
Age demographics
Participation rate
Trend analysis
Gender disparity
Health initiatives
Public health policies
Statistical comparison
Lifestyle choices
Work commitments
Age-related factors
Preventative health
Exercise habits
Surveillance data
Motivators and barriers

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The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did the regular physical activity in 2010.

Some people believe that a country will benefit greatly by a high percentage of young people going to universities. Others argue that it only leads to a higher unemployment rate. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Travellers and business people often come into contact with other cultures briefly. What are the main advantages and disadvantages of doing so? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own kowledge or experience.

In many countries, individuals or their employers pay for medical treatment. Should the government be more responsible for the health of their citizens? Discuss and give your opinion.

Directors of large organisations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.