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Band 6

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did the regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did the regular physical activity in 2010.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity
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The bar graph depicts
men
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 and women who did
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a
the
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regular physical
activity
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 in Australia in 2010. As an overview,
men
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 demonstrate declined trend and women represent an increased trend but in the
last
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, it decreased.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the highest physical
activity
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 was done by the 15 to 24
age
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group
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 of
men
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.
While
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 the lowest is in the 35 to 44
men
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age
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group
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.
While
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 the 45 to 54
age
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group
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 of females did the highest exercise. The
age
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group
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 of 15 to 24 did physical
activity
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 more than 50% which was 52.8%.
However
Linking Words
, other
age
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 groups are less than 50% in 2010. The lowest
activity
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 done by the 35 to 44
age
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group
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 which is only 39.5%
as well as
Linking Words
 65 and over
age
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 was the second highest 46.7%. 55 to 64
age
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 women did the highest physical movement which is 53.3% and it was followed by the 55 to 64
age
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group
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 which was 35%.
However
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, other
age
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 groups are less than 50% in 2010 and the lowest
activity
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 did by 65 and over 47.1%.
Submitted by paramravalia24 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, activity, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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