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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph gives data on the proportion of children respects to the total young population in the UK between 1990 and 2001. The proportion of children are categories in four age groups.

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The chart illustrates the proportion of people other than adults and elderly in the UK.
According to
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 the data, from 1990 to 2001, there were significant changes in the number of young folks aged 0 to 19. Among them, babies aged 0 to 4 was the largest
at
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in
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 1992, up to 26.5% and teenager aged 15 to 19 had the least
at
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in
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 1994, down to 23%.
Till from
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From
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 1993 to 1997, the trends of the population changes became similar and went to
a
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an
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 average percentage. It can
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be noticed
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noticed
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notice
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 that the aged 15 to 19 in 1990 amounted to a peak,
whereas
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 the percentage
of
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apply
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increased quickly after that.
Similarly
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, in 1995, there was a high point between the ages of 0 to 4,
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 26%.
Then
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, the percentage dropped gradually by 2001.
On the contrary
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, 10 to 14 years old citizens saw
the
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a
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reduce
Replace the word
reduction
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 during
this
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 period in 1990.
Similarly
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, the proportion of
0
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the 0
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to 9 years old population
were
Change the verb form
was
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 relatively lower
initially
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, which were 25.9% and 24.6% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly".
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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