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Band 4

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
Government
 investment in the arts,
such
 as music and theatre, is a waste of
money
. Governments must invest
this
money
 in public
services
instead
. To what extent do you agree with
this
 statement? It is claimed that the authority funding in the
art
, including music and theatre that waste of
money
.
However
,some people believe that
government
 must devote
this
money
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 public
services
. It seems to me that,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that both
art
 and public
services
 bring about many different benefits to our community. On the one hand, everyone knows
art
 is the voice of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society.
As a result
, to fund
art
 is to encourage the expression of society, not only
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
art
 is the development and pursuit of new ideas.
Moreover
,
art
 is a window into the past and reconnects today's generation with previous ones.
Therefore
, it creates new creative movements.An illustration of
this
 is,
European
Correct article usage
the European
show examples
government
 continues to fund museums and exhibitions despite being unable to
gerate
Correct your spelling
generate
grate
 on a commercial
basic
Correct your spelling
basis
show examples
.
Thus
, it helps to showcase their own heritage and culture and inspire future generations.
On the other hand
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should invest
money
 in public
services
 to ensure a more immediate benefit to the population because public
services
 are enjoyed by most of a country's population.
For instance
, healthcare is one of the public
services
 that keep
human's
Change noun form
humans
show examples
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 and create high-quality jobs.
Besides
 that, the economic effects are more immediate than investments in
art
. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 argue that there are various benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
art
 and public
services
.
Thus
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should invest in both.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction presents a clear position and outlines the main points of your essay. Additionally, provide a conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position clearly.
task achievement
Be sure to fully address the prompt. Present clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant and specific examples to support your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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