The charts show the proportion of male and female employees in different job categories in an engineering company in 2005 and in 2015.

The charts show the proportion of male and female employees in different job categories in an engineering company in 2005 and in 2015.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts show the proportion of male and female employees in different job categories in an engineering company in 2005 and in 2015.
The about charts display
about
Change preposition
apply
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the proportion of male and female employees. The
descrion
Correct your spelling
description
is given below. The data is given about the years 2005 and 2015.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Canada in the
year
Use synonyms
,2005 there are around 60% of men are working and more than 30% of women are working. In the
year
Use synonyms
,2015 there are around 70% of men are working and more than 50% of women are doing work.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South Korea, in the
year
Use synonyms
2005
Add a comma
,2005
show examples
there are more than 70%
men
Change preposition
of men
show examples
are doing work and around 30%
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
are doing work. In the
year
Use synonyms
2015
Add a comma
,2015
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there are less than 80%
boys
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of boys
show examples
are employed and girls more than 30% are employed.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Sweden, in the
year
Use synonyms
2005
Add a comma
,2005
show examples
there are nearly 75%
Change preposition
of
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boys are employed and nearly 45%
girls
Change preposition
of girls
show examples
are doing services. In the
year
Use synonyms
2015
Add a comma
,2015
show examples
there are 70% male and more than 40% are doing service. In conclusion, the about data shows information about males
as well as
Linking Words
females in the years 2005
as well as
Linking Words
2015.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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