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Band 5.5

The pie charts below show responses by teachers of foreign languages in Britain to a survey concerning why their students are learning a foreign language. The first chart shows the main reason for learning a foreign language. The second chart shows how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason.

The pie charts below show responses by teachers of foreign languages in Britain to a survey concerning why their students are learning a foreign language. The first chart shows the main reason for learning a foreign language. The second chart shows how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason.
#show #responses #teachers #languages #britain #survey #students #language #first #reason #second #change
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The pie charts illustrate the survey results conducted in Britain to reveal the opinion of foreign
languages
Change the noun form
language
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teachers
Use synonyms
 about their students’ motivation on attending their classes. The first chart shows the common factors that attract pupils to learn languages
while
Linking Words
 the second chart displays the recent changes in those factors perceived by the
teachers
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. It can be clearly seen that there are seven categories which the
teachers
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 consider as the main
reasons
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. They are - having a foreign partner, travel, business/work, buying properties overseas, general interest, social contacts and personal development. To start with, based on
teachers
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’ perceptions, business overseas
trip
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trips
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 and travelling were two domineering
reasons
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 for pupils to learn other languages.
However
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, most of them agreed that there were different changes for both. More and more
teachers
Use synonyms
 thought that business purposes were the major
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reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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besides
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 the others, but the percentage of those choosing travel as the main purpose fell dramatically from 33% to 3% of the total percentage.
Subsequently
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, there were 7 % of
teachers
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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agreed that
social
Correct article usage
the social
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 contacts factor was the main reason, and it even doubled recently.
On the other hand
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, even though 7 % of
teachers
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considering
Wrong verb form
considered
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 personal development as one of the main
reasons
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, 3 % of them agreed that it was not valid anymore.
Thus
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, general interest and foreign partner which was thought
as
Change preposition
to
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 the minor factors has not changed at all. Interestingly, 15 % of
teachers
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reporting
Wrong verb form
reported
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 that there were no changes for all of the categories
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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considered as the main reason for students to study a foreign language.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words teachers, reasons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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