The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited attractions of Brighton between 1980 to 2010

#line #percentage #tourists #england #attractions #brighton

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited attractions of Brighton between 1980 to 2010. From 1980 to 2010 the favourite attractions of visitors were the

pavilion

and the festival. The least popular

attraction

in 1980 was the pier but

after

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

2010

Add a comma

,2010

show examples

the lowest

attraction

was the art gallery,

also

the highest famous

attraction

was

pavilion

Correct article usage

the pavilion

show examples

. There are two basic general trends downward and upward.

Change preposition

show examples

regards the

first,

the

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

show examples

for

Festival

Correct article usage

the Festival

show examples

significantly decreased over the years, it declined from 1988 to 5%. The number of tourists who visited the pier

also

fluctuated from nineteen-eighty to two thousand, and

then

visitors doubled from 12% to 22% between two-thousand and twenty-ten. The

Pavilion

attraction

's visit of tourists rocketed between 1985 and 1995 from 28% to 48% and

then

percentage

Correct article usage

the percentage

show examples

gradually decreased to 31% in the next 15 years. It is noticeable that incomes for the

Pavilion

higher

Add a missing verb

are higher

show examples

than the incomes for the

piers

Capitalize word

Piers

show examples

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu Jul 20 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words pavilion, attraction with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

159 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited attractions of Brighton between 1980 to 2010

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while other think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

In some developing countries, disabled people are not given proper access to public and private facilities. What are some possible effects of this problem and solutions to it?

Some people believe that it is better language students in small classes. Others think the number of people in the classes doesn't matter Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.